SHIRLEYS ARE MONITORED FOR THEIR SAFETY AND YOURS.

AS PER THEIR ORDERS, SHIRLEYS ARE MONITORED NIGHT AND DAY BY A MEMBER
OF THE ORGANIZATION. UNMONITORED SHIRLEYS MAY POSE RISK TO THE HEALTH AND
WELLBEING OF THEMSELVES OR OTHERS. SHIRLEYS ARE NOT ALLOWED SHARP OBJECTS
OR SHOELACES. SHIRLEYS ARE NOT ALLOWED USE OF KITCHEN CUTLERY. SHIRLEYS ARE
NOT ALLOWED TO INTERACT WITH THE PROFANE UNSUPERVISED.* PROTECTIVE SUITS
MUST BE KEPT ACCESSIBLE AT ALL TIMES SHOULD A SHIRLEY MALFUNCTION. AN ERROR-
RIDDEN SHIRLEY CAN CAUSE UNINTENTIONAL DESTRUCTION TO THE PSYCHOLOGICAL OR
PHYSICAL STATE OF THOSE AROUND THEM. BEWARE OF MURDERS OF CROWS, AS THEY
ARE OMENS OF MALFUNCTION. IN CASE OF MUNDANE ERROR, PLEASE REFER TO THE
MALFUNCTION PROTOCOLS. IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE REFER TO THE EMERGENCY
PROTOCOLS. SHIRLEYS MAY REQUIRE ASSISTANCE COMPLETING DAY TO DAY TASKS.
DIFFERENT SHIRLEYS MAY REQUIRE ASSISTANCE WITH DIFFERENT TASKS. PLEASE
REFER TO THE CARE AND MAINTENANCE OF SHIRLEYS GUIDE AND THE SHIRLEY
IDENTIFICATION GUIDE.